Thursday, September 17, 2009
a special thanks
I wanted to thank everyone for the sweet support, got to really love these pregnancy hormones that just make you feel every kind of emotion out there! I wanted to let you know that I am ok, good thing I have my kids to keep me busy so I just don't sit and think about it. I feel so blessed to have so many wonderful friends and family that care:) It really is a comfort...Sometimes you never know if you should share something like this with others,but I have learned and grown so much from reading about others and how strong they became and how much that support helped them, so thanks for letting me share my thoughts, I love you all:)
Why I feel more heartache
I got a call from my Ob that I need to go to the Hospital to get an consulate about this antibodi that I have, not really understanding why, I dropped kaden off at school and off connor and I went. I have not delivered at this hospital before so it was all new to me.
When I checked in they sent me to the ultrasound room where all these cute moms were waiting to find out what they were having I have to say my little 2 yr old was such an angel never once the 4 hours we were there did he cry or wine he sat there and just played and then in the ultrasound room he sat with me on the chair looking at the baby... It was so fun to see the sweet little baby, he/she was strectching and moving all over how fun it was to see the little fingers and toes such a miracle these little spirits are!
After waiting another 30 minutes the Dr came in not my ob but a different Dr. came in to explain to me how this little spirit may not be doing so well. (not something an expecting mother wants to here)
At some point of the pregnancy with connor he had this antibodi c in his blood that somehow leaked into my blood, making my body make antigans to get rid of them but in the process my antigans went back into connors blood and that is why he was so sick when he was born. Ok so that makes sense now.... Well the antibodi c stayed in my blood which now that there is another baby in there the antibodi is making the baby really sick by making it Anemic, so now I have to be montiored almost every week with ultrasounds to make sure the baby does not get too anemic or it will not make it.
At some point if the baby is not progressing they will have to give this baby a blood transfussion which may or may not work. But some Dr.s just have no tack , how do you just tell a mother that her baby may die... I know they need to help you understand that may happen, but the way he told me was not very sensitive. When I got home all chris and I could think about what was the Dr said about the baby not making it to full term...
It is still all werid to me that my little connor had this rare blood disorder and how he gave it to me, you just never think something like that would happen to you, it is always something you here about.
My insurance won't cover anything until I pay my 2500 deductable but i am not paying that because then I will have to pay it again in Jan. So I am worried how I am going to be able to do all this with no insurance!
I am grateful that they can keep such a close look on the baby and make sure it is okay but knowing that there is nothing I can do to help this baby not be anemic, makes me feel helpless.
This is why I feel such heartache it is the UNKNOWN and the way this DR told me. Now that is all I think about. I would like to think they really know about this uncommon blood disorder but I just get the impression some Dr. just aren't so sure.
I get home from the hospital and pick kaden up and he says the cuttest thing" Mom did you get your baby cut out today? I want to see my new baby" he stood there all serious! I love the things 4 year old say....
I love my OB and believe he will do all he can! All I can do is leave this in the Lords hands..... It is a wonder how some things happen and how I am the 1 out of 2500 women that got it. I wanted to share how I was feeling, because in a time like this it is nice to have friends and family that support you and help keep you spirits alive. I will keep you updated when I go into my next ultrasound!
UNTIL NEXT TIME !
When I checked in they sent me to the ultrasound room where all these cute moms were waiting to find out what they were having I have to say my little 2 yr old was such an angel never once the 4 hours we were there did he cry or wine he sat there and just played and then in the ultrasound room he sat with me on the chair looking at the baby... It was so fun to see the sweet little baby, he/she was strectching and moving all over how fun it was to see the little fingers and toes such a miracle these little spirits are!
After waiting another 30 minutes the Dr came in not my ob but a different Dr. came in to explain to me how this little spirit may not be doing so well. (not something an expecting mother wants to here)
At some point of the pregnancy with connor he had this antibodi c in his blood that somehow leaked into my blood, making my body make antigans to get rid of them but in the process my antigans went back into connors blood and that is why he was so sick when he was born. Ok so that makes sense now.... Well the antibodi c stayed in my blood which now that there is another baby in there the antibodi is making the baby really sick by making it Anemic, so now I have to be montiored almost every week with ultrasounds to make sure the baby does not get too anemic or it will not make it.
At some point if the baby is not progressing they will have to give this baby a blood transfussion which may or may not work. But some Dr.s just have no tack , how do you just tell a mother that her baby may die... I know they need to help you understand that may happen, but the way he told me was not very sensitive. When I got home all chris and I could think about what was the Dr said about the baby not making it to full term...
It is still all werid to me that my little connor had this rare blood disorder and how he gave it to me, you just never think something like that would happen to you, it is always something you here about.
My insurance won't cover anything until I pay my 2500 deductable but i am not paying that because then I will have to pay it again in Jan. So I am worried how I am going to be able to do all this with no insurance!
I am grateful that they can keep such a close look on the baby and make sure it is okay but knowing that there is nothing I can do to help this baby not be anemic, makes me feel helpless.
This is why I feel such heartache it is the UNKNOWN and the way this DR told me. Now that is all I think about. I would like to think they really know about this uncommon blood disorder but I just get the impression some Dr. just aren't so sure.
I get home from the hospital and pick kaden up and he says the cuttest thing" Mom did you get your baby cut out today? I want to see my new baby" he stood there all serious! I love the things 4 year old say....
I love my OB and believe he will do all he can! All I can do is leave this in the Lords hands..... It is a wonder how some things happen and how I am the 1 out of 2500 women that got it. I wanted to share how I was feeling, because in a time like this it is nice to have friends and family that support you and help keep you spirits alive. I will keep you updated when I go into my next ultrasound!
UNTIL NEXT TIME !
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Time for a cleaning!
It was that time to get the boys teeth cleaned, this was connor's first time to the dentist and he did great, they both got to watch CARS, kaden already had a filling last year and now he has to have another, I will feel terrible if he ends up with my luck of bad teeth! But on a good note their teeth are all in line and look great....
my teeth are all clean
You know how long connors hair has been, for some reason hair stylelist always cut shorter than what you ask them to do, it is the shortest his hair has been, and I am really starting to like it. He looks so much bigger with shorter hair.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
lots & lots of new posts
It has been awhile since I posted, so I thought I would just crame it all in.... First of all kaden is such an athletic kid, he has been begging to take the training wheels off so last night chris took them off and down the drive way he went! he needed no help what so ever! I am such a proud momma, but at the same time a little sad because he can do things on his own and not need me as much.... Good job kaden
These pictures are not in order, but they should be! most of them of them are LABOR DAY weekend.
These pictures are not in order, but they should be! most of them of them are LABOR DAY weekend.
love this look of connor!
we were shopping in park city and couldn't find connor in the store when he comes around the corner wearing this hat! :)
labor day weekend we went to the alpine slide which was so much fun! then we got ice cream and played at the outlet mall_ what a fun day
here we are on the tram! kids thought that was so cool
their cousin matthew came and spent the weekend with us! thanks heidi for letting him stay we had so much we love you matt
we went to the canyons played in the river, had a picnic played at the playground and then we had a late night slip and slide fun
PIRATES ISLAND RESTURANT
This place was SO MUCH FUN! it had all the bells and whistels for a kid, game room, playground inside, booth that were in it's only little cave, the kids could be as loud as they wanted! You should go there with your kids it will be a fun experience for all of you.
On rainy day we had MR. PLAYDOUGH HEAD FUN! We like to use mr. potatoe head to make fun people out of playdough
One day I was attempting to make playdough but it was more work than fun, I let the kids play in the flour which AGAIN gave myself more work, then I found connor in the sink with water all over after i cleaned up the flour, then he got into the pull ups they were everywhere so needless to say it was a fun day but boys being naughty day!
I wish his hands would stay this little
nothing sweeter than the touch of a child! I just love being a mom!
oh and awhile ago I took the kids to the little farm at thanksgiving point, it was $2 tuesdays and the dinosaur musuem was a 3 hour wait so we did this instead but still had to wait 1 hour for the pony ride! $2 tuesdays are not worth it to me! plus the farm was 2 dollars anyways (lol) but the kids finally got a ride and the smiles on their faces made it worth it.
UNTIL NEXT TIME
Friday, September 4, 2009
something I worry about
Ok so I am sure I am not the only parent out there who has this question, HOW DO YOU TEACH YOUR CHILD TO NOT BE A FOLLOWER? at least I hope I am not the only parent because then this would be pretty embrassing :) I have just been noticing latley that kaden will say to me"well mom so and so is doing it" but he is not wearing his helmet" mom go away I am with my friends"
So as any parent would naturally do is WORRY! I tell him all the time to not worry about what other kids do, but do what he has been taught, but I am not so sure he really understands me.
Why is it that when kids get older they don't think they need to set the example for those that are younger by wearing helmets and not riding their bikes in the street and maybe having a little more respect for parents.
Kaden does good sometimes, but I feel like I am always yelling his name and getting mad at him because he just does not LISTEN. So I was wondering what you have experinced with your kids and what you think might help.... I can't help but worry when he gets into kindergarten and older grades how will he respond to other kids choices? What kind of things can I do better to help him now? Of course it is only natural that a parent worries about their kids, a few times I just notice that what I have been teaching him has gone in one ear and out the other.... are kids really born with ears? (I wonder sometimes) well i better go for now, I would love to hear your thoughts.... Until next time....
So as any parent would naturally do is WORRY! I tell him all the time to not worry about what other kids do, but do what he has been taught, but I am not so sure he really understands me.
Why is it that when kids get older they don't think they need to set the example for those that are younger by wearing helmets and not riding their bikes in the street and maybe having a little more respect for parents.
Kaden does good sometimes, but I feel like I am always yelling his name and getting mad at him because he just does not LISTEN. So I was wondering what you have experinced with your kids and what you think might help.... I can't help but worry when he gets into kindergarten and older grades how will he respond to other kids choices? What kind of things can I do better to help him now? Of course it is only natural that a parent worries about their kids, a few times I just notice that what I have been teaching him has gone in one ear and out the other.... are kids really born with ears? (I wonder sometimes) well i better go for now, I would love to hear your thoughts.... Until next time....
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Lessons I've learned
I didn't really know how much my life would change by moving to pleasant grove. This move has been the best thing for me and my family. I really do miss the memories back at hunter village, but always knew that was not going to be the place we raised our family.
I am really grateful for the opportunity I have had to meet so many inspiring people. A lot more heart ache and such still happened once we moved, but the best part of it all is what we have learned and are still learning. Maybe I just needed to be in a different setting for the Lord to really reach me.
I love my husband more now than ever, I can't seem to get enough of my boys and love to play with them... We weren't able to really go on a vacation this year or last, so our summer has been filled with, musical pillows,playdough fun,bike rides, parks that have fun little rivers for the kids, camping, hide and go seek and etc.
You never realize how much your life can change in time of trial,you can go so many different directions, but how lucky I feel that our little family has gotten closer.
Honestly I feel horrible. I have complained to much, my trials are nothing compared to others.... My trials have a way of working out others aren't so lucky and deal with pain for most of their lives. So I am sorry for all the times I complained. Every day I feel so bad for all the times I vented and got upset over this when really things are great.
A very dear friend to me once told me that I shouldn't feel bad for not being able to work with this pregnacy and I need to realize that the most important thing is in order,(MY FAMILY) in ETERNAL ORDER, which really made me feel good,and helped me see things in a different perspective, Sure things finacially aren't in order (and one day they will) but we are doing what we have been asked and taught to do, how wonderful that made me feel that even though I am not working my kids are being taken care of, taught and loved and chris and I work together carrying eachothers burdens, so I really appreaicate that comment because it has made me realize that life is great. I use to go to bed crying and worried questioning the Lord and all I can remember is how I made my own unhappiness, once I truly learned to laye things at the Lords feet, I feel joy.
Who knows what the future brings and before I moved here I had some serious OCD always having plans of what and when things were going to happen, I kept trying to contorl every situation and then getting mad when it didn't go my way, did I have to learn some hard lessons? yes! am I glad? Yes! I have found that life is much more joyeful when you just live each day at a time not worring about the things I cannot contorl, but focus on the things I can contorl and that is my kids and me!
So I want to thank my sweet friends that put with me and know how grateful I am to have you in my life and in my kids lives....
I was just having these thoughts and wanted to write a post intstead of pictures! Until next time
I am really grateful for the opportunity I have had to meet so many inspiring people. A lot more heart ache and such still happened once we moved, but the best part of it all is what we have learned and are still learning. Maybe I just needed to be in a different setting for the Lord to really reach me.
I love my husband more now than ever, I can't seem to get enough of my boys and love to play with them... We weren't able to really go on a vacation this year or last, so our summer has been filled with, musical pillows,playdough fun,bike rides, parks that have fun little rivers for the kids, camping, hide and go seek and etc.
You never realize how much your life can change in time of trial,you can go so many different directions, but how lucky I feel that our little family has gotten closer.
Honestly I feel horrible. I have complained to much, my trials are nothing compared to others.... My trials have a way of working out others aren't so lucky and deal with pain for most of their lives. So I am sorry for all the times I complained. Every day I feel so bad for all the times I vented and got upset over this when really things are great.
A very dear friend to me once told me that I shouldn't feel bad for not being able to work with this pregnacy and I need to realize that the most important thing is in order,(MY FAMILY) in ETERNAL ORDER, which really made me feel good,and helped me see things in a different perspective, Sure things finacially aren't in order (and one day they will) but we are doing what we have been asked and taught to do, how wonderful that made me feel that even though I am not working my kids are being taken care of, taught and loved and chris and I work together carrying eachothers burdens, so I really appreaicate that comment because it has made me realize that life is great. I use to go to bed crying and worried questioning the Lord and all I can remember is how I made my own unhappiness, once I truly learned to laye things at the Lords feet, I feel joy.
Who knows what the future brings and before I moved here I had some serious OCD always having plans of what and when things were going to happen, I kept trying to contorl every situation and then getting mad when it didn't go my way, did I have to learn some hard lessons? yes! am I glad? Yes! I have found that life is much more joyeful when you just live each day at a time not worring about the things I cannot contorl, but focus on the things I can contorl and that is my kids and me!
So I want to thank my sweet friends that put with me and know how grateful I am to have you in my life and in my kids lives....
I was just having these thoughts and wanted to write a post intstead of pictures! Until next time
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Family pics with the mertz,birthday,& more
Chris thought it would be a good idea to hike the Y , and it would have been had I not been pregnant and kaden was being a little wimp so chris being the tough guy he is carried connor the whole way and sometimes kaden too. Got to hand to him he is one strong guy.,..
This is the group 28 grandchildren with one more on the way....
all the grandkids
Chris sibilings
My little boy is 2, the balloon was actually stuck to his hair
me and aunt t.t
everything is elmo so we had an elmo party! he calls him memo"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)